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2009年上海中考英语作文看看有没有语法错误,能打多少分IwanttodosomethingformyschoolHowtimeflies!I'mgoingtograduatefrommyschoolbeforelong.Sincei'mastudent,ishoulddosomethingformyschool.I'venoticedthatt
更新时间:2024-04-20 07:39:27
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2009年上海中考英语作文看看有没有语法错误,能打多少分

Iwanttodosomethingformyschool

Howtimeflies!I'mgoingtograduatefrommyschoolbeforelong.Sincei'mastudent,ishoulddosomethingformyschool.I'venoticedthatthelibraryofmyschoolhasn'tenoughbookstoenjoyeversinceifirstcameintotheschool.Sometimesafewstudentshadnochoicebuttoreadonebookwithanotherstudent.Ilikereading,soihavealotofbooks,includingsomeuselessones.Ithinkit'smydutytodonatethesebooksformyschool,theywillbehelpfultomanyyoungerstudents.

何壮回答:
  I'venoticedthatthelibraryofmyschoolhasn'tenoughbooks   这一句,应该是doesn'thave而不是hasn't   语法错误就这么一个,但是有很多地方的遣词用句需要改进,否则会严重影响文采分.如果不加以修改,这篇文章可以打15分(3分扣在:1分语法错误,2分文采)   hadnochoicebuttoreadonebookwithanotherstudent.   "read“改成"share"   Ilikereading,soihavealotofbooks,includingsomeuselessones.   改成"IlikereadingandIhaveaplentyofbooksthatInolongerneed"   Ithinkit'smydutytodonatethesebooksformyschool   改成"IthinkIcouldalittlefavorformyschool,donatingthesebooks."(duty这个词太重了,你对学校没有那样严肃的义务责任关系,所以改成favor会好很多)   theywillbehelpfultomanyyoungerstudents   改成"Ibelievethatthey'llbebeneficialtomanyyoungerstudents"
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