Psychiatrists(精神病专家),whoworkwitholderparentssaythatmaturitycanbeanasset(资产)inchildraising----olderparentsaremorethoughtfuluselessphysicaldisciplineandspendmoretimewithchildren.Butraisingkidstakesmoneyandenergymanyolderparentsfindthemselvesbalancingtheirlimitedfinancialresourcesdecliningenergyandfailinghealthagainstthegrowingdemandsofanactivechild.Dyingandleavingyoungchildrenisprobablytheolderparents’biggestandoftenunspokenfear.Havinglate-lifechildrensaysaneconomicsprofessoroftenmeansparentsparticularlyfathers“endupretiringmuchlater.”Formanyretirementbecomesanunobtainabledream.
HenryMetcalfa54-year-oldjournalistknowsittakesmoneytoraisekids.Buthe’s alsoworriedthathisenergywillgiveoutfirst.Surehecanstillridebikeswithhisathleticfifthgraderbuthe’slearnedthatyoungatheartdoesn’tmeanyoung.Latelyhe’sbeentakingafternoonnapstokeepuphisenergy.”Mybodyisaging”saysMetcalf“Youcan’tgetawayfromthat.”
Oftenolderparentshearthetickingofanotherkindofbiologicalclock.Therapistswhoworkwithmiddle-agedandolderparentssayfearsaboutagingarenothingtolaughat.“Theyworrythey’llbemistakenforgrandparentsorthatthey’llneedhelpgettingupoutofthoselittlechairsinnurseryschool.”SaysJoannGalstaNewYorkpsychologist.Butatthecoreofthoselittlefearsthereisoftenamuchbiggerone.“thattheywillnotbealivelongenoughtosupportandprotecttheirchild”shesays.
Manylate-lifeparentsthoughsaytheirchildrencameatjusttherighttime.Aftermarryinglateandundergoingyearsoffertility(受孕)treatmentMarilynNolenandherhusbandRandyhadtwins.“Webothwantedchildren”saysMarilynwhowas55whenshegavebirth.Thetwinshavegiventhecouplewhattheydesiredforyears“asenseoffamily.”
Kidsofolderdadsareoftensmarterhappierandmoresociablebecausetheirfathersaremoreinvolvedintheirlives.“Thedadsareoldermoremature”saysDr.Silber“andmorereadytofocusonparenting.”
Whydopsychiatristsregardmaturityasanassetinchildraising?
AOlderparentscanbetterbalancetheirresourcesagainstchildren’sdemands.
BOlderparentsareusuallymore